I heard someone say “If you’re an EMPATH then you’re probably also a PEOPLE PLEASER, & if you’re a people pleaser then you’re also probably a PERFECTIONIST & if you’re a perfectionist then you probably also PROCRASTINATE & if you procrastinate then you probably also SELF SABOTAGE, & if you self sabotage then you probably also have a FEAR OF REJECTION.” I was this person for so long I didn’t realize there was any other way to be. When you recognize a problem & you literally can’t stand to live that way you have to change. What I’ve been practicing is
listening without absorbing other peoples problems as my own. It’s too heavy. The word of the day is BOUNDARIES.
I’ve learned to say NO! I would get so mad if someone asked me to do something when I didn’t have the capacity. Not because they asked, but because I was too afraid to upset them with a no. Ultimately putting my needs last.
Next I had the attitude that if something isn’t going to be “perfect” why do it? If it’s not beautiful enough, clever enough, impactful enough it’s a waste of time. Everything I did had to be meaningful. I’ve used the activity of making “fun art” to get me out of this space. Creating just for the hell of it.
If you could get paid for making lists I’d be a billionaire! I said “Jas, you actually have to DO the stuff!” The time I would spend over thinking the outcome I could’ve easily used that time to complete said tasks. I’ve literally been making lists about my coloring book since 2016. I’m not done, stay with me.
I would make so many excuses as to why I couldn’t do something but they were honestly lies I was making myself believe out of fear of messing up. As the old people say, “there isn’t one way to skin a cat.” I learned to just do the thing anyway.
I’ve learned that instead of being afraid of rejection, embrace that who you are and what you offer isn’t for everyone. The world doesn’t end when you hear no.
I’m still a work in progress but you couldn’t pay me to stay that way. I’m loving the other side.